Tag Archives: bravery

Contemplation, Life, Native American Women

Now that history is to repeat itself….

It’s been a very upsetting month.  I have been paying attention to Facebook closely for news happening in North Dakota and what is happening with the Standing Rock Nation of Souix people and their supporters.  I find it sad that I have to look to Facebook for the news that is not being reported on any of the national stations.  

I remember, as a teenager, being told that I would never see any news of what happens to the Native Peoples of this country because the government had decided that they would control what was reported and what wasn’t when it comes to Native Americans.  Back then it was Wounded Knee.  Do you remember where you were when that event started?

Now an oil company is  working very hard to plow through  Native burial lands and sacred sights (again) so that they can put in another  pipe line.  I saw a 30 second blip on the news once.  I read yesterday that the government is now air dropping mustard gas on the Native (and many non-native) people who are there to protest this action.  No media coverage by the news stations around here.  How about where you are?  Seems to me that the US government dropping chemical weapons on it’s own citizens would be news worthy.

I’ve read several posts from a few friends who actually made the trek out to North Dakota to see for themselves and to support the protest.  What I read is all about unity and non-violence.  I see now that several young friends have made that same journey.  I pray that they get to be part of the biggest peaceful protest of their lives and that someday they can tell their own grandchildren what peaceful people can accomplish.

I pray that the land wll stay intact and the water the Standing Rock people are trying to protect stays clean.  You and I need to pray this happens since we are going to be the people who benefit from the warriors who stand in peaceful protest to keep the water clean.  I pray that all of the people who stand with Standing Rock get to return home unharmed.  I pray for the men and women who have been ordered to this place and ordered to cause harm to peaceful protestors.   I suspect this is not what they signed up for.  If there is a bad side, a domestic terrorist side, it would be the oil company who thinks that poisoning the water that we are drink is acceptable to any of us just for more money in their pockets.

History repeating itself for Native American peoples has not been historically favorable.  I stay positive, reminding myself that a victory for Standing Rock is a victory for all of us, no matter where we live.

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Girlfriends, journaling, Life, lifecoaching, meditaton, Native American Women, Retreat, Writing

My Sacred Journey

I have such wonderful friends.  But even as strong as we would like to be there are times that even the strongest of us hits the wall and dang, does that hurt.  We all decided long ago (everyone in my tiny circle is not as young as we used to be) that we were not going to allow that wall to stop us even if it slowed us down a minute.  So we decided to get together and have a weekend retreat.

The crew, like any crew, as specialties.  My specialty is being a life coach so I took the lead.  I named the retreat, set the agenda, made the to-do list and lined up the teachers.

We learned some mediation do’s and don’ts.  We learned some easy-peasy journaling techniques and we studied-just briefly-the how’s and why’s of “chemical reactions to emotional inputs”.  We built a “God box” to work on faith building and….we talked!

We talked and we cried and we laughed.  We acknowledged that we are strong and that we are fragile, that we are young at heart and as old as the hills.  We heard, from our own mouths, some real wisdom and some really silly notions.

It was a good weekend!

Winter is coming and this is where we needed to be….looking at ourselves, getting ready to get into hibernation mode.  We are not bears so we cannot sleep the winter months away but we are women and we can take this time to slow down and look deeply into our mirrors.  We can use this time to really think about everything we went through this weekend….to think about our Sacred Journey, about the women we walk with, about those we have left behind, about what we learned and what we want to learn next.

We will open our “God boxes” next spring after we have filled them with our prayers to see what has transpired in our prayer lives and see our how our faith as grown.  We will have laughed and cried even more when the winter is done and the spring has started again.  We have so much to look forward too.

Now I am sitting here thinking about everything that happened this weekend and find that rather than be physically, emotionally and spiritually drained I am excited and energetic.  It is so wonderful to be with such wonderful women all weekend and to know that we have fueled each other, built each other up and took the time to remind each other how much we really mean to each other and to ourselves.  I am filled with gratitude.

My sacred journey continues….

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Uncategorized

My Little Christmas Miracle

There are no presents under my Christmas tree.  Is it wrong that I don’t feel bad about that?  My children are all grown and they are busy making babies of their own. Their Christmas trees have piles of gifts festivally wrapped and labeled.

Instead of heading out to the crazy malls and instead of sharing all my personal information with the world via online shoppings for each and every child and grandchild I opted for a family gift for each family. I should clarify, each family with children.  I do have one child that has yet to start her family and she is getting a nice Christmas card with lots of hugs and kisses enclosed.

I was two weeks late putting up my tree and up until 10pm that night I wasn’t so sure that I would bother with it at all.  I have yet to get the outside lights from the box in the garage that normally flicker deep into the night.

Oh, I could blame work, I could blame a desperate personal financial crisis but I won’t.  When I was 18 my little sisters sat me down one day and told me that they did not need me anymore.  They thanked me for raising them and teaching them the things big sisters are supposed to.  Apparently, I had done my job and now my job was done.  I sat in shock for several minutes, I cried for several more (unseen by my little sisters), I began a prayer that I have yet to finish…a thankful prayer.  Not by choice was I the big sister of six siblings but it was my position and I did my best.  Now it was finally my time.  Now I could begin and end a day without the burden of taking care of all those siblings.

This is where I am again.  I love Christmas, the lights, the traditional tv shows, the presents, the foods, the giving and the getting.  It just dawned on me this year that my children don’t need me anymore to create that Christmas magic for them…they are busy creating Christmas magic for their own.  For a minute I was in shock and for a minute more I cried, and now I continue the prayer I started all those years ago…that same prayer of thanksgiving.  I am thankful that my children are happy and doing for their own children what I tried to do for them for so many years.

This year I am working on creating a new Christmas magic that is not so stressful and not so expensive.

This year the lights on the tree are for me.

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getting in shape, Life, Me, Native American Women

Not very Brave

I had hoped that by this day I would be 1) a non-smoker and 2) could swim a mile without stopping. Here is where I am-can’t claim either. Is that sad?

I was talking to a friend and we were discussing her life and her life choices. She said “I wish I was strong enough, maybe someday I will be that strong”. I told her then that she was strong enough, she proved that everyday. She was a divorced mother of two, raising her babies without any help at all from her ex. That she had strength and she exhibited plenty of it, everyday. I said “what you need is to be brave”…brave enough to tell him (her ex) NO when she needed to. Like when he showed up on her doorstep unannounced and started telling her how everything was going to be. She was very happy with me for telling her she was strong and decided that being brave was something she could definitely work on.

This is, I have decided, where I am as well. The first of the year came around and for a week prior I was thinking about how I was not going to buy cigs anymore. Then the actual 1st came up and I did not stop smoking. I know that this is so bad for me. I know that if I could expand my lungs a bit further I could accomplish a bit more, physically. I have the strength required for the commitment, I lack the bravery required to actually stop. What will I do when I think I need to smoke? What will I do with my hands? How much more will I eat when I can no longer hold that cigarette between my fingers? These are not hard questions…just a little scary when I get to the nitty-gritty of actually getting things done.

I also had decided that since I ended the year able to swim 1/2 mile without stopping that if I kept at it, by the time my birthday came around (end of January) I should be able to swim an entire mile (70 lengths of the pool) without stopping. I had my schedule all mapped out on the calendar. I would swim every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and keep adding a few laps each week and…ta-da…by the end of the month….goal accomplished. But work has been constant and I am far enough behind that it is just too easy to use it as an excuse to not leave my house to head to the pool. Then I actually made it to the pool one day this week, mistimed “open lap” by 30 minutes and did not bring any regular workout clothing with me. I decided just to take a shower, head upstairs and hang upside down on the inversion table for a few minutes. I totally counted it as a full workout seeing how I took my gym bag to the gym and changed clothes during that time. Needless to say, I have not increased the number of laps I can swim.

I have to admit, I am disappointed in myself. I have managed to almost get caught up with my paperwork for my job but not to get my personal goals one step closer to ideal. I will be 52 at the end of January. I thought about this stuff all day today. It is almost midnight (EST) and I am just finishing up my work for the day. At some point I will have to be brave enough to make me my number one priority.

This is something that I can actually work on….

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