Category Archives: Family

Family, Life

Surprise for the Surpriser

My daughter came to visit this weekend.  It was a big weekend for her.  Her husband decided to surprise her with a visit to our house to celebrate the beginning of their 5th year of marriage.  I thought it was wonderful that he thinks this way.  She and I are very close, even when they lived in Arizona we talked on the phone at least 5 times each week.  She only lives 3 hours away these days but with her job and mine we don’t have a lot of time to make the drive.

Additionally, she is pregnant.  She doesn’t travel far without getting sick so instead of taking her away for a nice weekend he opted to stay close and make her not have to deal with not enjoying a wonderful weekend away because she is running to the bathroom constantly.  Sometimes he really surprises me with his kindness.  Personally I would expect a husband and new father-to-be to think just like that and it might be sad that I am surprised.

Finally, it was the dogs’ (hers) second birthday and they are the typical “we don’t have any kids yet so we treat our dogs like that are our children” kind of people.  So they stopped at the gourmet dog store and bought 5 cupcakes for the dogs to celebrate a birthday…one for each of their dogs, one for my dog and one for each of the neighbors dogs…it was a happy celebration.

The only problem with the whole weekend is that it was a surprise so I was not home most of the weekend.  I am a typical “don’t have anyone at home who needs me so I think I will pack my weekend with things I want to do” kind of Granny.  I didn’t get home until almost 9pm on Friday, they pulled in at 10pm.  We visited for two hours then everyone crashed.  I was up at 6:30am to get ready for a multi-family yard sale I had been planning with my girlfriends for two months.  I was gone from the house by 8am.  The kids had to come see me at the yard sale.  I got home after 7pm and had to leave for another commitment and finally got home at 10pm.  They left today by 11am.  I think next time my son-in-law decides to surprise us with a family visit he should call and make sure that the family is going to be around.  She did come in with two bags of laundry (her machine is broken and the new one isn’t due until next weekend) so I am happy she could keep herself busy while I was gone.  I would have liked to have sent her to the grocery store for me while I was stuck at the yard sale but with her morning sickness she isn’t good for tasks that required plenty of time between bathroom stops.  It is an old habit we developed since she moved out at age 17, when she would visit and I was busy I just handed her my grocery list and she did that laborious task for me while I was otherwise occupied.

My husband was home all weekend, he is not a yard sale kind of guy, so he was able to have a wonderful visit with the kids.  I am very happy about that…they even had a cook-out, sorry I missed it.  He is still getting used to his baby getting ready to have her own baby.

Now it is Sunday, the kids have left.  My dog and I are finally sitting down to rest for a minute and my husband has volunteered to head to the grocery store.  I am surprised….again!

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Family, Life, Me

Bullfrogs and Butterflies don’t have a problem with it…

I was thinking about change today.  I spent some time remembering when I turned 14 and I was anxiously waiting to morph from a child to a young woman.  I remember putting on my wedding dress, morphing from a single woman to a married woman.  I remember laying on the exam table at the doctor listening to my baby’s heartbeat for the first time, morphing yet again.  There have been so many changes.

My mother, God rest her soul, could not wait to announce to the whole world when I put on my first bra.  I was mortified, she was so proud.  Years later I did the same thing to my own daughter, this time I laughed…at her and at myself.  I got it, finally.

In this world where I choose to live, the non-native world, change is feared.  Change is not taught as a good thing.  Women are lamenting the loss of something that was never meant to be static.  Change is supposed to happen.  My mother celebrated my changing, each and every step, and while I was usually horrified at her for doing so I had to become a mother myself to see what she was so happy about.  When change is happening without regard to scheduling or weather or fashion then life is unfolding as it should.

I am changing yet again….no longer a women who has children at home.  The non-native world might say I was an empty-nester, the traditional world just sees this as part of the grand scheme, normal and worth celebrating.  My body continues to change.  It has been a little strange only in the sense that it has been a long time since I have had to experience major physical changes.  But I have to admit, I am excited and happy about what comes next.  I will celebrate this change even though my own mother is no longer here to celebrate with me.  Even that, time for her to return to her true home, was a celebration for me.  It was, after all, what she taught me was supposed to happen.

These are the things that I taught my own daughter and I trust she will pass them down to her own children when the time comes, our traditions being mostly oral.  I am comfortable with the knowledge that my mother did not waste her time or energy celebrating the changes in my life and that I have not wasted my time or energy either as I celebrated my daughter’s changing life.

I am excited about what new adventures await me as my, yet again, changed life unfolds.

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